What does Caspering mean?

Finishing a relationship in a nice, yet puzzling way

Caspering is a term that describes a scenario where a person tries to end a relationship in a friendly manner, to the point of causing confusion and extending the break-up process. It’s named after Casper, the lovable cartoon ghost.

This behavior has been observed for a long time, but it wasn’t until 2019 that it got its name in an article by Gabi Conti for “HelloGiggles”. It’s considered a nicer alternative to “ghosting”, but in reality, it can be more hurtful.

When a person ghosts someone they’ve been dating, they disappear without giving any closure. While it’s tough for the person left behind, they at least understand what happened.

However, with caspering, the person trying to end things is overly nice and ends up causing confusion. They may delay replying to messages, make plans they don’t keep, or avoid talking about the future of the relationship.

They know they want to end the relationship but are avoiding the conversation. Yet, they don’t want to ghost the other person either. This leaves the other person unsure about the status of the relationship and confused by the mixed signals.

The best way to stop caspering is by being honest and clear about your intentions. If you’re not getting a clear answer or commitment from your partner, then it’s best to move on.

Example for using ‘Caspering’ in a conversation

Hey, I’ve been thinking about us and I think we should talk.

Hey! Yeah, what’s up?

Well, I’ve been feeling like maybe we should take a break or something…

Oh, I see. So, you’re saying you want to break up?