What does Submarining mean?

Going out with someone, vanishing, and then popping up again

Ever wondered about the term ‘Submarining’? Let’s break it down for you. Submarining is a modern dating trend where a person, let’s say Tom, dates someone, let’s call her Sally, then suddenly vanishes without giving Sally any reason. Tom then shows up again later as if nothing happened, without any explanation for his sudden disappearance. Sounds familiar?

The term ‘Submarining’ was introduced by Metro in 2017. It’s been used to describe this behavior where someone disappears and reappears without clear communication. It’s like a submarine – it goes underwater and out of sight, then resurfaces later. This term is also known as “zombie-ing.”

Submarining is a bit like ghosting, but with a twist. Here, Tom doesn’t just disappear; he comes back, acting as if nothing has changed. This can be quite frustrating for Sally because there’s no closure when Tom suddenly leaves, and then there’s no explanation when he returns.

Imagine Sally and Tom are going on several dates. Then one day, Tom just disappears. He’s gone, both offline and in-person. Fast forward a few months, Tom suddenly pops back into Sally’s life, leaving her utterly confused. This is how submarining works.

Submarining is a red flag in any relationship. It shows that the person doing the submarining, in this case Tom, is not considerate of Sally’s feelings or the relationship. They may come back because they’re bored, want a casual fling, or just need some sort of validation.

If you’ve been submarined, like Sally, be cautious about re-connecting with the person who submarined you. There’s no telling when they might decide to disappear again. Remember, submarining is not a sign of a healthy relationship. It’s a cycle of confusion and hurt, and you deserve better.

Example for using ‘Submarining’ in a conversation

Hey, remember that guy I went on a few dates with?

Yeah, the one who disappeared out of nowhere?

Exactly! Well, guess what? He’s back!

What?! Are you serious? He’s submarining you!